When I tell people about CribDeath nowadays, from my totally subjective, biased and misconstrued memories, I always say if CD'd been in LA, SF or NYC they'd be famous and/or dead by now...well, one is dead...and they are famous, in their own minds (and mine) anyway...and if they'd had Phil Manzarek on their tip, like X did, then they'd've been on American Bandstand too!...at this point in their infamous careers, the one's who'd survived would be producing albums by the young upstarts who wanted some true punk roots credibility like the Deftones or somesuch crap; they'd be in movies with John Doe; they'd be snowboarding with the BeastieBoys; they'd be partying at BettyFord with Kate Moss; hosting MTV's 120 MINUTES; tripping with Captain Beefheart out in the dessert...BUT they were in WI and it wasn’t so easy to get that national attention...they didn’t wear tights and sequins and dance around with hot chicks doing jazzersize singing silly love songs like their most famous neighbor Prince...and it pisses me off because they were the best fucking live band I've ever seen and unique songwriters due to the various strong personalities in the band!! Part stand up comedy with Smitty and Billy Sids singing duets like some twisted punk rock RunDMC on the mics...part S. Clay Wilson with every song ripping something to shreds, nothing sacred to Rev. John....part Flipper with primitive music and attitude that sez "we cant play and it doesn’t matter because we kick ass and you all suck more than us!"...I remember when Rev. John told me they figured if FLIPPER could be band they could too and then he showed me this cracked up acoustic guitar with only four strings that was his first bass...bold like Lenny Bruce, unique like Jean DuBuffet, scatological like Alfred Jarry, expressionistic like Franz Kline, ...And so much energy to rally people and create a scene, something every really special band has... there was the radio program on the University of River Falls campus Radio Station where Smitty, Rev. John and Billy Sids played all the hardest, fastest, sickest, stupidest stuff for us, like MDC, DKs, MinuteMen, HuskerDu, BlackFlag, BadBrains, all the shit, and talked like idiot(savant)s between songs...the Happy Valley Commune Final Breaking Up concerts that they had every year in the mid '80s that lasted all weekend, with barrels of beer, boiling oil drums of corn, and 10 or 20 of the cooolest underground bands from all over WI and MN that would play straight through the night...or playing in the basement of one of the many suburban rental homes that one them would manage to scam, hook up the cable TV and amps and then get kicked out of because “Smitty broke the door with his head one night during practice...” ( or because “Jelo would leave piles of his feces on his closet floor” “I remember seeing Smitty and Billy Sids humping each other, army pants down, longjohns barely staying up, while singing the GREEN ACRES theme song on a freezing night out at one of the farm shows; listening to Rev. John wax philosophical about some crap that sounded brilliant between songs and then starting a song by pounding his bass like an retarded ape-man; Billy Sids totally embarassing Russ Holmes who was sitting in for some reason or other, because they rewrote JESSE's GIRL in homage of Russ's COCK and feigned blowing him throughout the fine rendition...; Elf and other Mohawk-hair all-out punk kids slamdancing and having corn cob fights; Jelo's diddly creaky solos that just showed how cool one could be by never practicing...as a matter of fact they were all proud that they never practiced and believe me it showed in their fine performances,..it actually fueled a great show to be on the edge like that...I listen to these songs on this CD again and again, just like I used to listen to my bootleg tapes (that is all there ever was) on my walkman while walking around River Falls and just wish they had more time and money to make more music and grow more, so i would have more great fucking songs to listen to...creepy DUMPSTER BABIES, funny SHELLEY WINTER'S THIGHS...I remember Joan the self-proclaimed business manager or something coming up to me in life drawing class once and trying to get me to invest in Crib Death the "Corporation" so they could get some cash together to do gigs and records and stuff...I wish that crazy plan had worked out a little better...so FUCK PRINCE and those punk rock sell-outs, THE SUBURBS (other local punk celebrities gone dance mix crazy)!!! CRIB DEATH ROOLS THE NORTHERN MIDWEST!!! and with your future support, THE WORLD!!! So buy this thing now!!!
Ian “ION” Farrell
"Infy's Space" (May 1999)